Art and Aspergers...

I have Asperger's. It's not an excuse.  I really do have it.  It means I'm autistic.  Many people would say you don't look it.  And that's part of the world today... if i cant see it, it's not real.  Or in more genius wording... "The difference between high-functioning and low-functioning is that high-functioning means your deficits are ignored, and low-functioning means your assets are ignored." - Laura Tisoncik

It's basic vainity if you ask me.  It's just like my mother's lupus and fibro.  You can't see that she has it but when she can barely move you notice it.  I don't have that same kind of luck.  The only time you notice I have it is when i talk a crapload about something orrrr hate answering the phone... there are too many things to list.  I'm not stupid.  But it's not an excuse if you dont know ur doing it!  As for the art of this post.... I miss it. I miss working on something but my brain is soo upset i just dont know where to begin..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is particularly infuriating for people who really do have AS, since as this practice continues they find it harder to explain accidentally offending somebody without being seen as liars, or worse as trying to make an excuse for bad behaviour. Most genuine Aspies don't see Aspergers as a 'Get Out Of Jerk Ass Free' card, just an explanation. 

 Our society would rather just say "You are making it up and using it as an excuse" rather then trying to research or read up on the conditions. No, I'm not saying that you should let anyone get away with saying whatever they want because they said "I have Aspergers" and they shouldn't say "It's ok, I have Aspergers." What most people who are trying to say when they say "I have Aspergers" is simply that- to tell you they have it. If the person they are speaking to has no clue what that is, they'll just get angry and yell at the person with Aspergers, saying something like "boo hoo" or "everyone has problems, learn to deal with them." Yes, we all do have problems, but this one is not an easy one to deal with.(especially in my scenario where depression and anxiety are added into the mix, so not only is a social disorder I'm dealing with, but also chemical imbalances in my brain which might further alter the thing said by someone in my brain.)

And the Results are in....

I feel like I've been holding everybody in suspense because I haven't posted in a while.  Well this is how it went:

1.  It was a long two hour drive that usually is an hour and a half at best.  Reason being is this:

 and mostly because of this, 

this is how I drove to Oneonta on the Monday before my show.  That was quite the adventure.

2.  So I got all my stuff unloaded from my jeep and my branches off the roof and put it all in my spot of the gallery.  That was fun. (<--Sarcasm at its best.)

After I unloaded everything, I was tired, I hardly slept the night before cuz I was so excited, so I got food at the commons on campus.  I was totally amazed my card still worked there after not being there for like 3 months.  After eating I ended up going to my hotel and checking in.  First time I've every stayed at one and payed for it by myself. 

A nice king sized bed all to myself for a week.  It was nice.  Lets see what else do I remember....

3. Tuesday:  I go in a wait for my teacher and run into some friends and say hi and chat a little and then get to work with the teacher to suspend my branches.  Of course my teacher forgot how short I was when we were getting out the lift, "Jackie, Get the door!"  The door is about 7 feet high and the latch is on the top.  He forgot that lil' old me is 5 ft 2. (I laugh every time at this)  "Yea Terry like I can reach the latch.  Even on tippy toes I can't even reach it."  SOOOooo that was an adventure in and out of itself.  We get the branches hung in about an hour and a half.  Of course I only brought four cuz that's all that would fit on my jeep plus at actually worked better for my project too.  Although I did imagine something a bit more domed shaped but there was no way that could've worked considering the space I had and the resources.  So Tuesday morning was tree branch hanging and Tuesday afternoon was lights and cloth hanging...

And each day I was up without and alarm by 8am and there working on my project each day.  Pretty proud of myself for that.

3. Wednesday.  Ugh Wednesday.  That was the day I started hanging the leaves.  I used a drill to drill little holes into the leaves for the fishing line I used to hang them on the branches.  I didn't use all my 150 leaves.  Probably around about 50 of them.  People kept asking me "what you gonna use the rest for?"  My reply is that I can use them for other projects, hanging them in some of the trees around my house, hang them in my house around my room.  I really don't know but I got a crap load of them.  So it took all of the morning to hanging them on two branches and the afternoon to use them on the other.  I got so ticked off that after a while I said I was done. It looked good and I didn't want to do anymore and overload them.  My next problem was that how was I gonna light the sucker. I didn't bring any extension cords and the teacher, Terry, originally said and I quote "You can't borrow any because their going to be up for 3 weeks."  So I went out and brought an extension cord myself thinking that it would b long enough and that brown would make it less obvious that there was a cord attached to my lights.  Terry's didn't like it at all soooo now this is another funny part.... He let me borrow his white extension cords for this and so I returned the too short and brow cord and got my money back and used Terry's.  And so by Wednesday night it was all finished and I ended up going to bed late and got to sleep late the next day.... The day of my show.  The day I've been waiting for since the summer before.

On the day of the show, I slept in and loved it,  hung out with a friend before the show and she helped my style my hair and i got all ready.  My friend and I, got to the gallery and I called my parents and they were right on time and followed each other in.  And for most of the show I showed off my lil' 5 month old nephew to everyone I knew cuz I said i was going to anyways.  I loved it and flirted with them all.  Over all I say the show was a great success.  A lot of people saw my work but were too scared to go underneath it which they were suppost to.  And well I was proud of it.

My sister, nephew and my dad

4.  The evil Critique: It was the Tuesday after the show opened and I drove back to Oneonta for it.  I get there and there's no food... bummer, but there was cookies so can't really complain.  And it only lasted for about an hour and a half and I was the second person to go.  One of the kids asked why I used live tree for my project when I was talking about the Lorax and not really cutting them down.  She ticked me off sooo bad and I didn't really have a good comeback at the time but how else would I be able to hang my leaves without the trees limbs breaking from rot and the statement wasn't really about the trees at all.  It was about how time is passing and they stay rooted and unchanged for years.  One of the teachers didn't like that fact that I used lights but it gave the feeling I was looking for.  And Terry, the teacher that I was kind of fighting with all week backed me up on how the lights gave the right feel if there was no sun shining into the gallery.  Oh the irony of fighting all week and him seeing what I was trying to get out.  People with Asperger Syndrome have a hard time getting how they feel into the right words when they come out but I used my art to get what I was feeling out.  It felt awesome, peaceful, and great.  So overall a great critique because I was proud and I wasn't gonna let other people ruin how I felt about my project.  It took me 2 and a half years to come out of artistic shell and here it was plain and simple.

AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!! And the final grade for this project...... an A+!!!!!! That's all folks!!

Leaves at their finest!

So I just totaled up the amount of leaves I have:

yellow: 22
green: 24
blue: 25
orange: 28
purple: 28

with a total of 154 leaves in all!!

With that being said it's about 150 less then I had originally planned and at this point I don't know if I'm going to need more.  Big leaves are a maybe, little leaves, no way.

T-Minus 7 days and Counting...

1 WEEK!! That's it!! I have my hotel room booked and I'm just waiting with excitement to be back in Oneonta!!  I have most of the leaves done except for the purple ones.  I hand sanded some last night and painted them.  I think the purple is darker than what I thought it was going to be but I have no time to fix the situation.

The other day my mother asked if I was putting and designs on the leaves and I told her I'd wait til I got to Oneonta and try putting some on some of the leaves not all.  Now I know in my previous post i said I was going to have fabric weaving between the leaves and branches but I'm unsure if that will work.  Plus they didn't have my fabric at the store so I'll end up using some that I already have which looking at my cool curtains in my bedroom, I think they might get used.

I got the branches on Tuesday night (4-9-13)! I'm hoping they'll work if not I think I'll have to go up to strawberry fields at school and get some more.  I wanted green branches that way they'd look good and alive and won't fall apart upon getting them to Oneonta.  With all this being said all I really have to do is pack everything Sunday night before I go!! Hurray!! I'm soo excited that the show is finally here!!

LEAVES EVERYWHERE!!

OH My God!! Ther was green leaves EVERYWHERE!!

It took at least 3 to 4 coats of paint for it to look right.

This angle is from looking out my bedroom door

Ahhh the next color waiting patiently in line... Yellow

I ended up clothing lining them so I could paint the edges

My current studio

The yellow paint attacked my leg, thank god no skin was colored in the making

the current color being worked on... orange is up nexted

I can't say that I hate leaves no cuz well I don't.  My dad is though. They were spread throughout the house though.  But I've pretty much stuck to one room of the house at least.  Hopefully this upcoming Wednesday or Thursday I'm going to find the branches for this project.  I've already found where I'll be staying for the week of the insulation and showing of all of this!!  I'm soo excited!!

The Week Off Project

So my boss was ever so nice and gave me the week off!! I was soo excited for it too I couldn't hard sleep on sunday.  So this is what's been happening day by day:

Monday:  I started cutting out my leaves in the morning and then realized had stuff to do for work.  So I cut out at least 10 to 15 different leaves.  Mind you that I had 4 pieces of plywood clamped together and was cutting them off the one I had traced patterns on to in December so you have to multiply those numbers by like 4, so about 40 to 60 leaves cut.

where it all started

the beginning of me cutting

Tuesday:  I finished cutting the leaves and instead of 200 like I thought I was gonna get I ended up cutting the bigger ones out than the smaller ones so it's not exactly 200 leaves which by the looks maybe ok.  Although, by the looks of my big leaves I still might have to buy another 2 to 3 sheets of plywood and make bigger leaves than I already had.

Done cutting half the plywood

Wednesday:  I was soo busy yesterday that I ended up not working on them til about 1pm which was a bad idea cuz I stopped sanding after about 3 realizing that at the rate I was going it would've taken forever to stand them all, so I called dad and he brought another kind of sander for me and instead of working in the garage like I have been I moved some leaves inside cuz it's TOO DAMN COLD OUT to work out there. Plus the garage is always 10 to 15 degrees colder than the actual outside anyways.  Dad didn't seem to mind because there isn't alot of saw dust.... yet.

I didn't have any safety glasses so dad was like use your sunglasses... and so I did and they worked

My color piles. 6 colors, 6 piles

my little work station in the house

Thursday:  Well I plan on getting the new sander out and busting the leaves out.  But I figured that I should update my blog before I forget to do it.  I still have pictures that I have to get up too.  But hopefully between today and the end of tomorrow I'll have them all sanded so I can paint them between now and the week of the opening.

Disappearing Paychecks

So my hard earned paycheck has disappeared this time.  All for the love of my senior art project too!.  Remember that award money I got? Well considering I'm not at school to get it I'm getting reimbursed for it and with the tax exempt forms my school gave me for 2 stores where I'll b buying most of my stuff, it's really helped.  I've spent about about $200 of it so far.  I got wood which somehow was cheaper here than I thought and originally estimated for and I got 6 things of paint!! 6!! But it was well worth it because in the end the left over stuff can go for other projects in the future.  And all Lorax colors too!!

In Febuary I ordered 2 sets of white christmas tree lights and got them.  They're 9 feet long so 2 time 9 = 18!! So I'm hoping 18 feet is enough for what I have in mind.  I looked at cloth today too and well I don't know if I'm gonna need it with all the stuff I'm putting in my tree.  I think I have Lace curtains kicking around somewhere that I might use if not I ended up getting the chiffon that I looked at today.  It's really nice and might work for the feel I'm going for. As for the balloons with glow sticks and knee high stockings?? I'm on the fence with that one too. I just dont want a lot to hang and make it look too busy ya know?

PS: PICTURES COMING NEXT WEEK WHEN I START CUTTING AND PAINTING!!